Posts
I had every intention of posting here daily, and even though I have lots of post ideas for all my blogs swirling around in my head, I am in a bit of a slump as far as actually *doing* the things I intend on doing. However, I am pleased to report that I haven't gone over on points all week long. *cheer* In fact, several days I was too far below. I tracked my meals and points for a few days before I started to get an idea of how many I was typically using, and every day was over by 7-15 points. That's what avoiding processed foods and dining out does-it makes your caloric intake SO much lower that you have to eat more to meet your target. In that way, Weight Watchers makes it easy to stay on plan because you have to actually work to use all your points.
But, let's face it. I wouldn't be this overweight if I always made the right choices. Even though I stayed under my points limit, I haven't always made the right choices with those points. More than once, at the end of the day I had more than 5 leftover points and I got an Icee to use them up. And on Emily's birthday, she wanted pizza. I get terrible heartburn from pizza sauce, so I stick with cheese bread, and that's what I had for dinner. Granted, I had half the portion I usually do, but still.
Even with my mistakes, though, I've lost four pounds this week. I know some is water weight, and I can't expect a 4lb/week loss to continue for long. But it is a nice motivator, nonetheless.
It all boils down to choices.
If making the right decisions came naturally, we wouldn't need parents. None of us would smoke. Drugs would be a non-issue, and alcohol would only be used in moderation. Obesity would only be a symptom of another health problem; not a health problem in itself. Domestic abuse shelters wouldn't be necessary, as victims would leave before the abuse even escalated to physical violence, or immediately after the first instance. I would be (happily!) out of a job, because no children would be abused or neglected.
But this is reality. And as I remind my kids often, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do...but it is always the most rewarding in the end.
Today I made many good choices, and a few not so good ones. I have 30 points daily on the Weight Watchers plan. I started tracking my points as I behaved normally for several days before officially beginning, just to see the contrast. The lowest points day I had before my official start was 37. Yikes! The other days were either 43 or 45 point days. Today I used 27 points, so I would say that is a drastic improvement. But you won't get any gloating from this chubby chica.
I slept until noon because I had a toothache, (and because I HATE mornings, and Daddy was home to tend to the wild things), so no points for breakfast, heh. At 2pm we headed over to Bri's aunt Cathy's house for a BBQ. I nibbled on two crackers, a sliver of cheese, and a few tortilla chips while we chatted and watched the kids swim. About three points, there. (They can add up fast with snacky kind of foods!) When the real feast was ready, I had about a half of an Italian sausage on a dinner roll, a salad with about a tablespoon of Italian dressing, one spoonful of cole slaw, one spoonful of macaroni salad, and a pickle slice. That plateful of food was 9-10 points-a LOT more food than triple my little snacks would have been, eh?
So far, so good, right? Well, yeah, except by the time I got home, it was 5pm and I still had about 16 points to "spend." So my mom offered me a serving of the beef, potato, and carrot stew she had in the crock pot. I was conscientious about the portion I took-ending up with about 3 oz of beef, two halves of a medium potato, and cut carrots equal to one whole carrot. It totaled 8 points. I still had 8 to go, and under-eating can be as much of a problem as over-eating, causing your body to hoard calories and fat, so I wanted to get as close to my target as possible.
And then the bad Angel took over. After a whole day of good choices, what do you think I "used up" my last chunk of points with? Oh yeah, you got it! My weakness-an Icee! What a useless thing to put in my body to use up those extra calories I am allowed! Ugh! Also? I forgot about my lifestyle change for a second and took a finger swipe of one of the kid's cupcake frosting. But as soon as I tasted that sweet heaven I remembered and wanted to smack myself.
*sigh*
But, tomorrow is a new day. I went shopping tonight, and got what we will need for meals until I shop again on Saturday. I have better tools for tomorrow than I did for today, including the knowledge I gained from my mistakes.
Tools to make better choices.
But this is reality. And as I remind my kids often, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do...but it is always the most rewarding in the end.
Today I made many good choices, and a few not so good ones. I have 30 points daily on the Weight Watchers plan. I started tracking my points as I behaved normally for several days before officially beginning, just to see the contrast. The lowest points day I had before my official start was 37. Yikes! The other days were either 43 or 45 point days. Today I used 27 points, so I would say that is a drastic improvement. But you won't get any gloating from this chubby chica.
I slept until noon because I had a toothache, (and because I HATE mornings, and Daddy was home to tend to the wild things), so no points for breakfast, heh. At 2pm we headed over to Bri's aunt Cathy's house for a BBQ. I nibbled on two crackers, a sliver of cheese, and a few tortilla chips while we chatted and watched the kids swim. About three points, there. (They can add up fast with snacky kind of foods!) When the real feast was ready, I had about a half of an Italian sausage on a dinner roll, a salad with about a tablespoon of Italian dressing, one spoonful of cole slaw, one spoonful of macaroni salad, and a pickle slice. That plateful of food was 9-10 points-a LOT more food than triple my little snacks would have been, eh?
So far, so good, right? Well, yeah, except by the time I got home, it was 5pm and I still had about 16 points to "spend." So my mom offered me a serving of the beef, potato, and carrot stew she had in the crock pot. I was conscientious about the portion I took-ending up with about 3 oz of beef, two halves of a medium potato, and cut carrots equal to one whole carrot. It totaled 8 points. I still had 8 to go, and under-eating can be as much of a problem as over-eating, causing your body to hoard calories and fat, so I wanted to get as close to my target as possible.
And then the bad Angel took over. After a whole day of good choices, what do you think I "used up" my last chunk of points with? Oh yeah, you got it! My weakness-an Icee! What a useless thing to put in my body to use up those extra calories I am allowed! Ugh! Also? I forgot about my lifestyle change for a second and took a finger swipe of one of the kid's cupcake frosting. But as soon as I tasted that sweet heaven I remembered and wanted to smack myself.
*sigh*
But, tomorrow is a new day. I went shopping tonight, and got what we will need for meals until I shop again on Saturday. I have better tools for tomorrow than I did for today, including the knowledge I gained from my mistakes.
Tools to make better choices.
I CAN do this.. *deep breath*
Today was our first day on WW ..
This morning went really REALLY well - until about noon. I started getting hungry and frustrated..
I then remembered there IS a reason for this , a goal and a dream to be healthy..
I want this SO bad..
I'm just afraid to fail.. again.
This morning went really REALLY well - until about noon. I started getting hungry and frustrated..
I then remembered there IS a reason for this , a goal and a dream to be healthy..
I want this SO bad..
I'm just afraid to fail.. again.
Believe
Visualize this thing you want. See it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin. - Robert Collier
Not only can I see it - I CAN feel it and I believe in it.
The "It" is being successful this time on losing my weight and becoming healthy. I not only want to do this for myself but for my family as well.. I WILL DO IT!
I have not struggled with my weight my entire life - in fact it has been just the last few years that my weight has been out of control. Seriously out of control. I partially feel that it's from grief and the loss of our son. I am such an emotional eater. When I am sad - I grab for whatever there is.. even if I am not hungry. It's now become such a habit.
I know that my son loves me no matter what. However, I want to be able to join in on hikes, jog with my son and run and play soccer with my niece and nephews. I do my son a disservice. I am such a poor example to him. Thankfully he has not picked up my eating habits.. and that his metabolism is high. He's so athletic.. I want to be able to join him in the activities he loves to do.
My husband loves me.. Skinny or overweight. I know that down deep though he would like to see me lose this weight. He never pushes me or puts me down - just simple suggestions here and there.. I want to do this for him, to make him proud of me and my accomplishment.
Socially and professionally my weight has an impact as well. I am READY for a change..
I am 38 years old, 244 lbs and a size 22/24..
And that? Is the first time I've EVER shared that. I'm gonna go faint now! ;)
Here I go again!
I've struggled with my weight most of, if not all of, my life. Over the last few years I've made some peace with my body; the sight of it in the mirror doesn't make me cringe anymore. But what I have not been able to accept, nor should I ever become complacent about, is how I hold myself back because of the fear of negative reactions from others due to my obesity. I am not reaching my potential-in every single aspect of my life-in part because of my unfit body.
First and foremost, I am not the mother I want to be. I am not setting a healthy example, and I do not have the energy or stamina to keep an active lifestyle with my family. I am not feeding my kids the kind of nutritious meals I should be. While I go out of my way to instill a strong sense of self in my daughters, the fact that I don't demonstrate that I value myself by taking care of my body has got to have an impact on them. My son is already overweight and self-conscious as a teenager....I've passed on a genetic disposition for a slow metabolism as well as shoddy eating habits, so I have a lot of damage to undo to give him a new lease on life.
I know my relationship suffers because of my fitness level. My husband, Brian, is extremely fit and athletic, and I just can in no way keep up with him. He loves me as I am, but not loving my body's appearance unclothed makes it difficult to be as comfortable with intimacy as we'd both like me to be.
Socially I am a bit more awkward than I would be otherwise. I say I won't do karaoke because of my awful voice, and my voice certainly does resemble a squawking avian more than a human. But it's more the absolutely paralyzing terror that being on a stage in front of people strikes in me that keeps me in the audience. The Angel that my new friends get is only half of the Angel I have to offer. Because I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection, and I'm scared of feeling not good enough. Too much, or not enough....too much flesh and not enough of everything else. So i hold back, because I suppose if I get rejected, well..it wasn't *really* ME who was rejected, was it?
My obesity even has an impact at work. How can I be an example and model being an empowered, confident woman who values herself if I can't even get control of my caloric intake? I know in my head that most of that inadequacy is just my own baggage, but my heart drives me, and my heart insists that I am a failure because I am fat.
So, here I am. 32 years old. 242 pounds. A size 18/20.
And ready to make a change. For life.
For Brian. For Christian. For Kristopher. For Emily and Faith. For Nana. For my friends. For my clients.
But mostly, for me.
First and foremost, I am not the mother I want to be. I am not setting a healthy example, and I do not have the energy or stamina to keep an active lifestyle with my family. I am not feeding my kids the kind of nutritious meals I should be. While I go out of my way to instill a strong sense of self in my daughters, the fact that I don't demonstrate that I value myself by taking care of my body has got to have an impact on them. My son is already overweight and self-conscious as a teenager....I've passed on a genetic disposition for a slow metabolism as well as shoddy eating habits, so I have a lot of damage to undo to give him a new lease on life.
I know my relationship suffers because of my fitness level. My husband, Brian, is extremely fit and athletic, and I just can in no way keep up with him. He loves me as I am, but not loving my body's appearance unclothed makes it difficult to be as comfortable with intimacy as we'd both like me to be.
Socially I am a bit more awkward than I would be otherwise. I say I won't do karaoke because of my awful voice, and my voice certainly does resemble a squawking avian more than a human. But it's more the absolutely paralyzing terror that being on a stage in front of people strikes in me that keeps me in the audience. The Angel that my new friends get is only half of the Angel I have to offer. Because I'm scared. I'm scared of rejection, and I'm scared of feeling not good enough. Too much, or not enough....too much flesh and not enough of everything else. So i hold back, because I suppose if I get rejected, well..it wasn't *really* ME who was rejected, was it?
My obesity even has an impact at work. How can I be an example and model being an empowered, confident woman who values herself if I can't even get control of my caloric intake? I know in my head that most of that inadequacy is just my own baggage, but my heart drives me, and my heart insists that I am a failure because I am fat.
So, here I am. 32 years old. 242 pounds. A size 18/20.
And ready to make a change. For life.
For Brian. For Christian. For Kristopher. For Emily and Faith. For Nana. For my friends. For my clients.
But mostly, for me.
About Us
Chrissi and I have been Twitter friends for a while, but we really connected last week when we talked about how ready we were to make a lifestyle change. After exchanging emails and text messages, (thank you Verizon for unlimited mobile to mobile!), we decided that we were going to do it together. We have committed to being cheerleader, motivator, and accountability check when necessary for one another. We are starting out at pretty much the same point and have parallel goals, which will make the support we can lend each other very sincere.
- My name is Angel and I'm 32. I live in central Florida on the gulf coast, funny enough, less than an hour from where Chrissi lived until last month. I work for a child abuse prevention program, and I have four kids. Christian is 15, and he is the only one of my children who seems to have inherited my slow metabolism. Kristopher, my stepson, is 14. He's athletic, and has a healthy appetite, both for good foods and junk. Emily is turning 8 this week. She has a dancer's build-long and lean; she must have received her hyper-efficient metabolism from her father. Faith is only 6. She doesn't have a very big appetite, and she isn't chubby, but I think she may have to put some thought into maintaining fitness as she grows. My ex-husband, (the girls' father), and I are living together again and if things keep going well, are planning on remarrying in about three years. He's very athletic and fit, and he is supportive of me, whether I stay fat or not. I blog at www.CheekySweetie.com about my life, and I tweet way too much as @CheekySweetie.
- I am Chrissi and I am 38 - living in the pacific northwest. I am a teacher/social worker . I work with families and children with special needs. I am married to a WONDERFUL man who loves me, no matter what. I am the mom to 17 year old Zach and to Tyler- forever 6. I am determined to be succuessful this go around and I know that mah sweet sweet friend Angel is going to be the BEST cheerleader ever. So.. wish us luck! You can read about my life over at www.tres-hearts.com or follow me on twitter @tres_hearts