It all boils down to choices.

If making the right decisions came naturally, we wouldn't need parents. None of us would smoke. Drugs would be a non-issue, and alcohol would only be used in moderation. Obesity would only be a symptom of another health problem; not a health problem in itself. Domestic abuse shelters wouldn't be necessary, as victims would leave before the abuse even escalated to physical violence, or immediately after the first instance. I would be (happily!) out of a job, because no children would be abused or neglected.

But this is reality. And as I remind my kids often, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do...but it is always the most rewarding in the end.

Today I made many good choices, and a few not so good ones. I have 30 points daily on the Weight Watchers plan. I started tracking my points as I behaved normally for several days before officially beginning, just to see the contrast. The lowest points day I had before my official start was 37. Yikes! The other days were either 43 or 45 point days. Today I used 27 points, so I would say that is a drastic improvement. But you won't get any gloating from this chubby chica.

I slept until noon because I had a toothache, (and because I HATE mornings, and Daddy was home to tend to the wild things), so no points for breakfast, heh. At 2pm we headed over to Bri's aunt Cathy's house for a BBQ. I nibbled on two crackers, a sliver of cheese, and a few tortilla chips while we chatted and watched the kids swim. About three points, there. (They can add up fast with snacky kind of foods!) When the real feast was ready, I had about a half of an Italian sausage on a dinner roll, a salad with about a tablespoon of Italian dressing, one spoonful of cole slaw, one spoonful of macaroni salad, and a pickle slice. That plateful of food was 9-10 points-a LOT more food than triple my little snacks would have been, eh?

So far, so good, right? Well, yeah, except by the time I got home, it was 5pm and I still had about 16 points to "spend." So my mom offered me a serving of the beef, potato, and carrot stew she had in the crock pot. I was conscientious about the portion I took-ending up with about 3 oz of beef, two halves of a medium potato, and cut carrots equal to one whole carrot. It totaled 8 points. I still had 8 to go, and under-eating can be as much of a problem as over-eating, causing your body to hoard calories and fat, so I wanted to get as close to my target as possible.

And then the bad Angel took over. After a whole day of good choices, what do you think I "used up" my last chunk of points with? Oh yeah, you got it! My weakness-an Icee! What a useless thing to put in my body to use up those extra calories I am allowed! Ugh! Also? I forgot about my lifestyle change for a second and took a finger swipe of one of the kid's cupcake frosting. But as soon as I tasted that sweet heaven I remembered and wanted to smack myself.

*sigh*

But, tomorrow is a new day. I went shopping tonight, and got what we will need for meals until I shop again on Saturday. I have better tools for tomorrow than I did for today, including the knowledge I gained from my mistakes.

Tools to make better choices.

Believe

Visualize this thing you want. See it, feel it, believe in it. Make your mental blueprint and begin. - Robert Collier

Not only can I see it - I CAN feel it and I believe in it.

The "It" is being successful this time on losing my weight and becoming healthy. I not only want to do this for myself but for my family as well.. I WILL DO IT!

I have not struggled with my weight my entire life - in fact it has been just the last few years that my weight has been out of control. Seriously out of control. I partially feel that it's from grief and the loss of our son. I am such an emotional eater. When I am sad - I grab for whatever there is.. even if I am not hungry. It's now become such a habit.

I know that my son loves me no matter what. However, I want to be able to join in on hikes, jog with my son and run and play soccer with my niece and nephews. I do my son a disservice. I am such a poor example to him. Thankfully he has not picked up my eating habits.. and that his metabolism is high. He's so athletic.. I want to be able to join him in the activities he loves to do.

My husband loves me.. Skinny or overweight. I know that down deep though he would like to see me lose this weight. He never pushes me or puts me down - just simple suggestions here and there.. I want to do this for him, to make him proud of me and my accomplishment.

Socially and professionally my weight has an impact as well. I am READY for a change..


I am 38 years old, 244 lbs and a size 22/24..

And that? Is the first time I've EVER shared that. I'm gonna go faint now! ;)