Best intentions..

I had every intention of posting here daily, and even though I have lots of post ideas for all my blogs swirling around in my head, I am in a bit of a slump as far as actually *doing* the things I intend on doing. However, I am pleased to report that I haven't gone over on points all week long. *cheer* In fact, several days I was too far below. I tracked my meals and points for a few days before I started to get an idea of how many I was typically using, and every day was over by 7-15 points. That's what avoiding processed foods and dining out does-it makes your caloric intake SO much lower that you have to eat more to meet your target. In that way, Weight Watchers makes it easy to stay on plan because you have to actually work to use all your points.

But, let's face it. I wouldn't be this overweight if I always made the right choices. Even though I stayed under my points limit, I haven't always made the right choices with those points. More than once, at the end of the day I had more than 5 leftover points and I got an Icee to use them up. And on Emily's birthday, she wanted pizza. I get terrible heartburn from pizza sauce, so I stick with cheese bread, and that's what I had for dinner. Granted, I had half the portion I usually do, but still.

Even with my mistakes, though, I've lost four pounds this week. I know some is water weight, and I can't expect a 4lb/week loss to continue for long. But it is a nice motivator, nonetheless.

It all boils down to choices.

If making the right decisions came naturally, we wouldn't need parents. None of us would smoke. Drugs would be a non-issue, and alcohol would only be used in moderation. Obesity would only be a symptom of another health problem; not a health problem in itself. Domestic abuse shelters wouldn't be necessary, as victims would leave before the abuse even escalated to physical violence, or immediately after the first instance. I would be (happily!) out of a job, because no children would be abused or neglected.

But this is reality. And as I remind my kids often, the right thing to do is often the hardest thing to do...but it is always the most rewarding in the end.

Today I made many good choices, and a few not so good ones. I have 30 points daily on the Weight Watchers plan. I started tracking my points as I behaved normally for several days before officially beginning, just to see the contrast. The lowest points day I had before my official start was 37. Yikes! The other days were either 43 or 45 point days. Today I used 27 points, so I would say that is a drastic improvement. But you won't get any gloating from this chubby chica.

I slept until noon because I had a toothache, (and because I HATE mornings, and Daddy was home to tend to the wild things), so no points for breakfast, heh. At 2pm we headed over to Bri's aunt Cathy's house for a BBQ. I nibbled on two crackers, a sliver of cheese, and a few tortilla chips while we chatted and watched the kids swim. About three points, there. (They can add up fast with snacky kind of foods!) When the real feast was ready, I had about a half of an Italian sausage on a dinner roll, a salad with about a tablespoon of Italian dressing, one spoonful of cole slaw, one spoonful of macaroni salad, and a pickle slice. That plateful of food was 9-10 points-a LOT more food than triple my little snacks would have been, eh?

So far, so good, right? Well, yeah, except by the time I got home, it was 5pm and I still had about 16 points to "spend." So my mom offered me a serving of the beef, potato, and carrot stew she had in the crock pot. I was conscientious about the portion I took-ending up with about 3 oz of beef, two halves of a medium potato, and cut carrots equal to one whole carrot. It totaled 8 points. I still had 8 to go, and under-eating can be as much of a problem as over-eating, causing your body to hoard calories and fat, so I wanted to get as close to my target as possible.

And then the bad Angel took over. After a whole day of good choices, what do you think I "used up" my last chunk of points with? Oh yeah, you got it! My weakness-an Icee! What a useless thing to put in my body to use up those extra calories I am allowed! Ugh! Also? I forgot about my lifestyle change for a second and took a finger swipe of one of the kid's cupcake frosting. But as soon as I tasted that sweet heaven I remembered and wanted to smack myself.

*sigh*

But, tomorrow is a new day. I went shopping tonight, and got what we will need for meals until I shop again on Saturday. I have better tools for tomorrow than I did for today, including the knowledge I gained from my mistakes.

Tools to make better choices.

I CAN do this.. *deep breath*

Today was our first day on WW ..

This morning went really REALLY well - until about noon. I started getting hungry and frustrated..

I then remembered there IS a reason for this , a goal and a dream to be healthy..

I want this SO bad..

I'm just afraid to fail.. again.